sjsprWriting

Pain. Sharp and dull. Constant, yet sprouting. Waiting for the – Oh! The pain! I can see it, back there in the darkness, peeking through the pink of my gum. It’s thinking it’s as quiet as a church mouse as it makes its purposeless move to the surface, but I’ll tell you what! It’s not silent or sneaky, and it certainly has no reason to exist! Wisdom teeth… insert dramatic TUN TUN TUN!

Dentists think they’re as wise as these pointless obtrusions are named. But they’re like weathermen, really, always predicting incorrectly – guessing at best. Here’s what my dentist said during my last visit, “Michelle your wisdom teeth look like they’re starting to come in. It might be a little uncomfortable at times, but we won’t have to remove them until you finish high school.” What a load of ----- “Uncomfortable”? More like insufferable. Wait until summer before college? More like immediate evacuation!

What’s worse, I don’t even get the courtesy of average chipmunk post-procedure. I get to be “special”, I get to take out just three. To some of you three surgical removals sounds better than four, right? No, you naïve fools! I’ll probably just end up looking like a lopsided Picasso chipmunk, with one cheek puffier than the other.

Woo.