sjsprWriting

     I remember my childhood record for the game of memoy. I was a beast in that game. I always knew where each card was, and I was also super fast. My childhood season finished with only one loss. Every single other game I won. I was set for life.

     But not really.

     Those games don't count for shit when it comes to remembering things from the past. It's hard to remember things: from what you did last weekend to what you ate this morning. But those kinds of things don't matter. It's okay to forget to brush your teeth, forget your homework, or even to flush the toilet.

     But what happens when important things occur and you want to remember everything? The truth is: you're shit out of luck. You won't remember everything.

     And it's probably the thing I'm most scared of, forgetting. Even worse than that, I don't want to mix up my memories.

     I have this philosophy where I don't do things twice. One time, I went to a Young Life camp. I loved it. Like its slogan implies, it was the best week of my life. I met many new people, had tons of fun, and grew closer to God.

     I loved the experience so much I decided to go again the next year (but to a different camp). And don't get me wrong, the second time was also great, better even. I met more amazing people and had an awesome time.

     But during that week (YL is a one-week camp), I found myself comparing that experience to the previous one. As a result, I missed out on some amazing opportunities and wonderful transformations.

     But even worse than comparing, I forgot and even mixed up memories. I couldn't remember if that cool person I met was from my first or second trip, if that super fun event was from the first year, or if all those laughs and memories happened when I thought they did.

     And I forgot faces. So many faces. I feel bad too, because they were all great people and don't deserve to be forgotten. And every now and then I try to remember them, but I can't .

     So I don't do things twice. More specifically, I don't repeat great experiences. I participated in Work Crew once, best month of my life. I did NSLC once, great opportunity, great people. I will remember all the faces I befriended this summer. Hopefully, I can do NSLC Staff once, Summer Staff one time another year, and be a Young Life intern one summer. But everything only once.

     Am I limiting myself? Maybe. But I can remember everyone I meet, everyone I make friends with.

     And that's all I can really ask for.

SBTRKT - Temporary View (ft. Sampha)

Porteer Robinson - Goodbye to the World