sjsprWriting

“Hey so I had my show,” he said casually, yet as if he were implying something else, something hidden.

“Oh yeah, I know, congrats,” she tried to sound as amicable as possible, attempting to hide her true feelings. Except she remembered exactly when his art show had been and what she had been doing the very moment she decided she wasn’t going and the very moment she decided she wasn’t even going to call him, text him, nothing.

“You know, it was two days ago…”

“Yeah, I’m so happy for you, you’re an amazing artist,” she said as convincingly as she could but really she didn’t even know why they were having this conversation.

He sensed what she was attempting to do, the way she tried to seem collected and casual.

“Okay. Fine, I’ve given you many chances, but you know what? Go ahead, act that way, I don’t even know what to do anymore.”

All of a sudden she felt enraged. She could not believe the words coming out of his mouth, she did not understand how was it that he could simply victimize himself in the situation and make it seem as if he had actually tried. As if he had cared about her during that last month in art school, as if he had cared about her when he did all those things, when he didn’t do all the other ones and worst of all when he didn’t say anything at all. School had ended; his last year, and he had been the one to decide to pretend. He pretended and she even began to believe it. She began to believe he truly did not care. That last month and a half, she had been nonexistent to him.

Now he had the atrocity to say that he had “tried” and “done” everything he could; that he had really made an effort. And worst of all he dared tell her that he had given her “many chances,” as if she should be grateful that he had or worse as if he had done anything at all.

How dared he say that?

Their relationship had ended a while ago yet there was still something there. It was probably because what they had had was more than a relationship; it had been a great friendship, the kind of relationship where you, as cheesy as it may sound, are lucky enough to date your best friend.

Oddly enough, they weren’t even friends until after they got together. They kind of worked their way to it. They began dating and as their relationship progressed, a beautiful friendship blossomed.

That’s why it hurt her so much. She didn’t miss the relationship with Liam, her boyfriend; she missed the relationship with Liam, her best friend.

The fact that he had decided to ignore her on his last few days had caused an ache within her.

“You don’t know what to do? You? Really, well you know what, that doesn’t count. You can’t just go ahead and say that; pretending you’ve tried and done everything you could because you haven’t, you haven’t really at all.”