sjsprWriting

Sometimes I wish I was everyhing you looked for in a soul.

I wish I was beautiful enough so you would want to give me a part of you.

Perhaps if I had a bigger butt, and larger breasts, and blonde hair, and... 

Sometimes I wish I was just like that.

No more questioning why we are here, and why we do the things we do.

Liking what I see in the mirror for my physical beauty alone. 

Trust me, boy, when I say that I wish I kept you up late at night

And that my hands made you want to hold them

And take my body and mind  someplace beautiful. 

Sometimes I wish I didn't  care so much about you

Or how I need to change for you to love me. It is hard.  

Sometimes I wish I was enough for you to touch me under the moonlight.

I want to be enough, here, right now. 

There are other times when it does not matter

That you do not see the whole world in my eyes

Because I have seen the whole world in my eyes

And it has been beautiful and golden (the way things are supposed to be)

And I've touched the moon with my hands

And I've listened to the sound of stars.

And I realize  I do not want to be like them, or her

Because I prefer to chase sunsets and rawness

Instead of losing it all for you. 

There are times, glorious times, 

That I realize I'm everything I look for in a soul

And that is enough for me. Even when it is not enough for you.