sjsprWriting

How we never feel like the age we are at

I’m thinking about how being 17 feels like feeling 16 and feeling 15 and feeling 14 and feeling 13 and feeling 10 and feeling 5. I’ve been trying to hold this moment because I know it will be important one day to me because it is completely mine. I told you about how our lives connect, and how we have a part of each other and little parts of everyone else inside of us creating a whole universe of magical happenings. I like that we don’t choose the people in our life sometimes because I like the idea of fate and destiny and purpose. The world is full of what-ifs, and could have beens, and tragic little things in between, but those connections in between make me forget that I am just another one in the list of 7 billion people. I believe that our lives are special because they are all so different in their essence, that human connections are essential because they make this experience so much better. We come here to experience each other. I think about being 17, and how nothing really changes but at the same time it does, slowly, and before you realize, you’re 18 and you don’t feel like 18 but you feel like 17. Or maybe we are just the same, and change is an illusion. And yet. It’s good to feel like you have changed for the better, even when some part of you has always been the same.