sjsprWriting

I will begin by stating that It was completely not my fault. A series of events have led to a very unfortunate sequence of conclusions from people, whose business belonged elsewhere, but nonetheless decided to get involved. I wish this would have happened when I still existed.

March 18, 2002 I stood in the middle of my school hallway, invisible. An entire day went by where not a single person spoke to me. As I stood in that hallway, I stopped to see if anyone made any eye contact with me. Rebecca, the most popular girl in the school ran into me, and she did not acknowledge she had bumped into another human being. It was as if she had bumped into a stupid street pole that stood in the way of her runway catwalk. Her book bag fell, she picked it up and walked past me without a single lifted eyebrow. People walked past me, and no one asked if I was ok, but they asked her. My day went by without a single vocal chord being strained in my throat. My vocal cords were getting rusty. I no longer remembered the sound of my voice, or the vibration it caused in my palate when I used to sing in the shower. That part of me no longer existed. March 18, 1997 it was basketball season and my two best friends and I were hanging out at the Valley court. “Yo, Nick, can you come up with a badass line for my awesome three pointers?” said my boy Albert. “you got it” I said, and without even having to think about it I came up with the best line I couldhave possibly said. “Booooooom, Respectttttttt” said Albert. He shook my hand and we locked our hand shake like people did three years ago. Never have I ever felt that set.

I arrived home, and decided to take antidepressants, because I was feelings sad. Then I decided to take twenty more. I woke up the next day in the hospital, and my mother was crying in my hospital bed at my toes. I said I was sorry, and that I did not know why I did it, but I knew. I was just feeling sad, I just wanted the feeling to go away. I spent two weeks in the hospital after the incident. I had not talked with my old friends, because they suddenly had gotten girlfriends in the cheerleading squad and I was fat and ugly, therefore, unwanted.

Once I went back to school, no one, absolutely no one had notices I had been gone for two weeks. All my old friends had moved on with their lives and I had become a shadow behind everyone else’s lives.

Our school that year decided to do a time capsule and make us record something we would like the future students of our school to know about us, about what life was like back in 2002. I revealed the truths about the school and everyone in it. The video was leaked by Rebecca, who undug the time capsule and broadcasted a number of declarations made, including mine. That made me realize how much I disliked the people at my town. I still believe in what I said, but people began assuming things that were not true, so I gave them a reason to.

Yes, I killed Rick. People said I was suicidal, and that I should die. So I took another one with me. But I did not do it because I purposely wanted to, or because I hated him, or any of the other conclusions people came up with. I did it because I wanted someone to notice me like that day back in 1997.