sjsprWriting

When I go to the bathroom, I ponder about life. I don’t just ponder about any type of life but about my life. I know I’m deep in thought when I’m already done with my “business” but I’m still sitting, looking, contemplating. I’ll tell you a fun little bathroom story. I was just getting home and thinking about it now, I almost immediately go to my bathroom to do either #1 or #2. So, yeah! I go to the bathroom, my second sanctuary, and lift the seat cover of the toilet, normal, basic, white cover. I pull down my pants with my underwear included because who would be spaced out enough to not do that. (May have happened just the one time… or two) Anyways, I sat down and started. I get quite bored so I usually try to bring my phone with me, Internet included. But my phone was safe. However, another article of sentiment almost died at this instant. I wear rings but I don’t like to wear jewelry for a long period of time. I just find that my hand, wrist, neck, and ears get to warm and sweaty for me to handle. Once I get home, I take them all off as to not get uncomfortable. So, I’m sitting and notice the uncomfortableness in my hands. I was wearing three rings at the time and didn’t know how to take them all off without dropping them into the toilet. I had this thought going through my mind. I was totally set on the thought that I would not, for any reason, drop my rings into the bottomless pit that is the poop hole. So, I take off one ring, “EXCELLENT”. I take off another one, “PERFECT, I DID IT!” Last feat, last ring of the three. Two down, one to go. I’m holding my two taken off rings in one hand and the other ring is still on my ring finger. “I NEED TO TAKE IT OFF!” I tell myself internally. So I start the meticulous process of taking off the ring with the hand holding the other two rings. AND WHAT HAPPENS?!? My freaking ring falls between my legs, through the small opening, into the golden waters. I was like, “DAMN IT!” Think of it and then it happens. WHY!? I literally was so concentrated for it to not happen. AHHH!! Frustrating. And then I couldn’t even find a utensil to retrieve the sacred item. My toothbrush was out of the equation, wooden sticks are found in nature not in my bathroom, my hand was definitely not sinking into the golden pits of despair. So, I thought I was doomed. No way was I flushing until getting back my precious treasure. You want to know how I was able to save the gem? A rusty pen, long lived for 2 years in my bathroom. Thank God I hadn’t done poop, just the pee pee. Your welcome! Hope you enjoyed this number story.