sjsprWriting

People are different. Some people smile when they are happy. Some people keep their mouths still, and feel the happiness inside. Some people have a naturally neutral face, others a naturally happy face. Some people laugh a lot and some people dont. You can cry at a funeral; you can also not cry. Everybody is different. So it's normal for some people to have different expressions or movements depending on their situation. We shouldn't judge people for their individuality, nor should we behave differently for fear of being judged. Societal norms for human behavior are ridiculous and should be ignored. Sometimes I notice something i'm doing and I correct it, as if it's weird or wrong. Something like making a face when the wind picks up and it's harder to peddle my bike, or walking around and keeping a really neutral face. I correct these things as soon as I notice i'm doing them. I think to myself "if someone saw this it'd be pretty weird huh. This isn't the right face to make". When I was in middle school I'd allways be walking around the hallway with a straight face, no smiling or frowning or looking around. I'd walk straight and keep my gaze foward. People would always come up to me and ask "Blas are you okay? You look super sad right now". At first I kept it up and i'd keep saying I was fine. But eventually it got annoying, and I modified. I stopped walking around how I naturally do. I began doing more facial movements and looking around, as if to appear happy and content. I knew I was happy before, with my neutral face, but I changed it anyway. I've never thought about how much of my natural behavior has been modified. It's kind of depressing to think of it now. Who knows how I could have been. I wish we lived in a world without these expectations and norms. I wish everybody could just completely be themselves. Of course I might actually live in this world, and i'm the only sucker dumb enough to be affected by all this crap. That's what it is. It's total fucking crap.