sjsprWriting

My heart palpitations. I can’t distinguish whether I actually go through them or it is just a figment of my imagination. They always start the same but diverge into different situations.

Beginning:

I ecstatically get into bed after a day of hardly sleeping. Right when I close my eyes, the torture begins. I’m still awake but things are different now. My heart starts beating faster than usual. As quickly as I closed my eyes, I open them again and the palpitations are gone. I go through this process a couple of times until I just give up and let this horrible torture occur. My heart starts rapidly beating and I have trouble breathing. I start breathing heavily and try moving but I can’t, I’m paralyzed. My brain is screaming at my body to move but won’t. I’m just stuck there, vulnerable, fearing death. Things vary from here on out, since my heart palpitations started three scenarios have occurred.

Scenario 1:

I still laid there, paralyzed, heart palpating at an extremely fast rate, and having trouble breathing. But of course it gets worse. I start feeling a weight being placed on my chest. I imagine it to be either a safe or someone physically putting a weight on my chest. If it is possible I start breathing even more rapidly, trying to get the weight off but I can’t. I still can’t move. I can’t push it off. I start losing consciousness with a feeling that I can’t breath anymore and with a thought that I’m going to die.

Scenario 2:

I still laid there, paralyzed, heart palpating at an extremely fast rate, and having trouble breathing. This time I feel like there is someone in my room, waiting for me, and there to get me. Once they get out of the shadows and start approaching me, my breathing becomes more labored and I start seeing black dots. Yet again, I start blacking out with a feeling that I can’t breath anymore and with a thought that I’m going to die.

Scenario 3:

This one is the newest out of the three, and also the least terrifying. But, I still laid there, paralyzed, heart palpating at an extremely fast rate, and having trouble breathing. The scary guy from Sinister is standing right in front of my door staring at me. He only moves a little closer but I can’t scream or move. The whatever that is, freaks me out enough to pass out before he could do anything. But, just like the other ones, I have a feeling that I can’t breath anymore and a thought that I’m going to die.