sjsprWriting

When we were 11 and a half

we talked about forever like it was an insurance plan

and created milky ways out of the dust on our parent’s bookshelves

But even then we knew that summer had to end

so we found mystery in the ducky pond down the street

and traced our desires into the crooks of each other’s necks

We left semicolons where a sentence could have ended, but didn’t.

Sometimes I pretend that I can feel yours burning on my back as you cross them off your list

And though I know you can’t feel mine

I scribble them down every now and then to remind myself that forever is my deadline

You see,

I want to give somebody a reason to remember me and remember my ever so common name

I want to live by impulse, by emotion, by heat

I want to wake up with passion on my tongue

and a new lesson learnt everyday

I want to fall in love in a language I don’t fully understand

and be part of the entire universe instead of just this one corner

I want to bring into this world what somebody left behind, I want to love the baby toes of a kid my body never knew

I want to stand before a crowd and find enough courage to forklift my words out of my chest

Make myself known by the verses that match the melodies in my curls

I want to buy a bra that is supportive the way my mother never was

I want to hum inside someone’s veins instead of laying on their skin like the silk of a conforming blouse

I want to spray paint your name into the stars and break away every constellation that gets in my way, fighting meteors like Sandra Bullock in that one movie with only two actors

I want to discover treasures in the eyes of a wounded heart and stitch together the remnants of a modern day war hero’s scars

I want to leave nothing unsaid, because the words we keep inside are the ones that eat at us from the inside and I am not one to be defeated in such a lowly manner

I want to make mistakes

After all, we’re kids aren’t we?

Kids who are being sent into this broken world at much too young an age

But we are kids with grown up powers

Me? I can vote

Him? He can drive

Her? She can open a bank account

And we can all drink

But even though my eyelids are heavy, my thoughts are heavier

And what I want most right now

Is to let you know that yes, I may have failed you

Because (spoiler alert) high school wasn’t really forever

But I will never forget the promises we made to ourselves by the ducky pond down the street

And I will never forget you