sjsprWriting

Love.

Why, 
love has given me the sweetest embrace,
and cut my stomach open, to fill it with

fluttering wings

Love "raised me up so I can stand on mountains",
or some other corny shit like that. 
Love has produced from me

the brightest of my smiles.


But love has also suffocated me.
Love held me back,

love tied me to a 
chair, bound my wrists and ankles together,
duct tape covered my mouth, slapped me and told me
to 'wake the fuck up'.

Love told me what I could and could not do,
love made me feel like I wasn't good enough.
love made me want to embed every piece
of shattered mirror into my heart
so it could see me clearly. 

Love made me bleed my fingertips raw,
want to tear out every last one of my eyelashes out,
and lay them out to lightly dust its cheek bones,
so that it would never stop having to wish on
"you've run out of your own wishes? here, have mine."

Love made me utter the foulest of words: "Just give up already"

Love wants a small piece of my heart, that I will always end up tearing off,
bit by bit,
to keep it happy.

love has made me stuff the gaping wound in my chest
with gauze wrap in a feeble attempt to stop the bleeding.

Love.

Why, love took all the parts of my heart I had left to give.

And I didn't even realize it until one day,
it asked for another piece,
and I
simply
could
not
give 
it.