sjsprWriting

I think about disappearing a lot. What it would entitle, how I would do it. I think the only thing that keeps me from doing so is the fear I have of the pain it would give me. And the fact that I fear I'll miss something beautiful. I constantly take pictures, of everything and anything. It gets annoying at times, and I know that, but I feel like if I just collect enough beautiful things it wont be so hard to miss the ones I wont get to see. "I paint flowers so they will not die." Kahlo said that, and it's stuck with me since I read it. So, I take pictures, and I capture the sun, so it will not die.

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Adjusting the tripod so that she could change the video camera to a regular one, she hoists the lens and focuses on the wooden board where her head would be. She installed the final extra gadget she needed, took the remote control with her, and sat facing her camera. Adjusting her shirt collar, she stared straight at the lens. Closing her eyes, she prepared for her self portrait, clenched the remote in her hands, and opened her eyes.

"Click"

"Buzz"

"Flash"

"Bang"

They found her a couple of hours later. Her tapes lay neatly by her side, tied with a bow and topped with a small card, engraved with her last words:

"I captured myself so I would not die."