sjsprWriting

Incomplete

By Laura Camila Rivera

I am lost in translation

Stitched together song lyrics and melodies that plague my mind

A sickness I am happy to endure

I am broken spanglish conversation

Fighting to fit in where I am never whole

Comfortable within my chaos

I am inside someone who hates me, but doesn’t believe in hate

Riddled with hidden chunks of me I’ve tried to throw away

The parts we were convinced no one could ever love

I am glued together pages from a book

Made from libraries hidden beneath the folds of my skin

Adventurous only inside of my thoughts

I am made of numbers

Pounds on a scale and ticks on a clock past curfew

One too many spilt drinks, cups of memories I’ve forgotten

I am bible verses and bitter coffee combined

Shared over late night Netflix movies that really aren’t sad

But my tears still crashed, shattering the ground below me. I fell.

I am the essence of battle, torn and armed, silent screams

Lost and living in a world laced with denial

But here’s the problem with seeming strong, no one offers you a hand

I am full of love that nobody needs

Carrying with me everyday this tendency to fall apart

“Slowly, and then all at once”

I am more than I can type on this blank sheet

But I need you to be ok with this

Because I am created by beautiful thoughts like yours

And ghosts from my future that are brave enough to pick up my shattered fragments

Wishing to make me complete again

And I yearn to be complete.