sjsprWriting

Wasted Moments and School

I'm confused about pretty much everything. Being a senior means you've reached the highest level of a place that has been your "home" for four years. This High School period in our lives is so crucial, yet I'm afraid it has been wasted. Truth it, from the looks of it, my generation is not one of intellectual thinkers; rather it is one of forced ideas and expectations that are way too high for most mortals. Play sports, create a club, be president of another club, show passion and commitment (which is what exactly?), help kids in India, get 2400 SAT scores, 4.3 GPA. I think so many expectations and pressures have hindered the inspired, thinker in us; because as much as we want to think that we don't care about social pressure, we do. It's natural that we care. Have we cared too much? Is it our fault? 

We are young, we are still finding ourselves, we are still trying to accept ourselves. We should be traveling, either literally or through books, films, photographs. Why are we getting stuck in metaphors, aliterations, battles, and formulas? This "well rounded" education will only last until this year, and you know what? Does it even matter if we are not considered "well rounded"? Education should be something you do for yourself, because you owe it to yourself, because you want to make a difference with what you're learning. It shouldn't be about impressing others, or for money. God, we should be here "educating" ourselves because we want to, not because we are forced or expected to. When we read a poem, we should read it because it makes us feel something other than ourselves; not just looking for similes and figurative language. We barely do things just to feel them, everything has some ulterior motive. 

The problem is that there isn't time for self discovery with all these pressures. We are too focused on the Ivies or the top liberal arts schools, and what they want, that we forget to live in the moment. We forget to live for ourselves, I think. And how terribly sad it is to know that there's almost no way out. I think that education is liberating, but at this moment, it feels encaging. I want to travel, meet some real people with some real intellect, meet people who don't talk science or history trivia. Meet people  who have something of substance to say because that's the real purpose of us being here. That's why we are here in this class, because we have something to say, and this seems to be the only place that is allowing us to experiment with our potential. 

My generation, or at least for now in my point of view, is not intellectual. We are not inspired thinkers nor rebels. We are producs of social pressures that we don't understand, and we just go along with it. My dad tells me change must be done from the front lines, not in the back. Play the game, win, and then change the rules; but he doesn't remember that when you get to the other side you forget about the other one. That sometimes the journey makes you forget your purpose, and that sometimes the main players SHOULD BE those in the back because they are the ones playing.